Recently, I became aware of a concept that is both inspiring and intimate. As soon as my eyes were opened to it, I was very compelled to try it. I am still unsure of why this seems like such a good idea, but that is what I wish to explore in this post.
My best friend sat down with me on Friday and we started talking about Thanksgiving and how her family had spent the day with their childhood friends instead of extended family. She remarked on how special it felt to experience a holiday with someone else for a change. The conversation moved on, but her comment stayed with me. It seemed odd. The only time I've known people to spend holidays with anyone other than their families were couples. That is typically how I meet my cousins' girlfriends and boyfriends: they bring them to the family gatherings at Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. My mind went immediately to the possibility of myself sharing the holidays with someone else. Unfortunately, I told myself, I would need a boyfriend for that. Though, maybe not.
Then I got to thinking, as one does when one encounters intriguing possibilities. Thinking then led to blogging, as it does, so please bear with me.
Why share a holiday?
What is it that makes these holy* days special? One significant feature of holidays is that working and/or schooling members of the family are usually able to come home and spend time with one another. Another is the element of rest that is very present in everyone (except those burdened with the task of feeding all the other family members). Yet another is the community spirit that arises in decorating, events, and general good feelings inspired by festivities.
Right about now you're thinking: that's all well and good but what about the actual day? Why is it important to experience that with someone other than family? If you grew up the way I did, your extended family are not strangers. Sure some of them live several states away and some of them really are strangers, but the majority (about 35 people last time I counted) make an effort to see one another anywhere from once to three or even four times a year. Suddenly, holidays are less special. The same thing happens every year for Thanksgiving: everyone piles into the car and drives an hour to an aunt and uncle's house so we can spend six hours eating, talking, petting cats, and watching the ball game. Sure the tradition is nice, but the same thing happens for Easter and Christmas, including egg-hunting and present-opening respectively. Having only celebrated holidays in this recipe all my life, I'm very curious as to how others celebrate. I've taken to asking my friends, "what are your family traditions for Christmas?" and "how do you keep from getting bored at the turkey table?" The responses I get only make me more inclined to sample their lives for a holiday.
What is this I discover? Not everyone eats a special breakfast that is only had on Christmas? Not everyone code-names the gifts around the tree so no one can peek? Other people travel across the world to celebrate holidays instead of staying home? I'm learning that some families are similar to mine in their festivities, but most are not. Who knows, learning about their traditions might help me decide new traditions for my own family!
Now let's dive a little into the intimate aspect of this concept. We've all heard the Christmas songs about loved ones snuggling up to each other by the fire, going on sleigh rides together, and giving each other gifts. This post is not a cuddling commercial, neither am I endorsing "Baby It's Cold Outside" as an appropriate means of celebrating Christmas. What I mean by intimate is the invasion of the comfortable atmosphere of a family gathering. A stranger in the midst can shake things up, but when approved of, that stranger gets an insider's peek at years worth of hard work in bringing a family peaceably together for meaningful days.
In other words, every family is different in how they celebrate holidays. One family's traditions might clash with another family's habits, but both sets should make an effort both to make the events special, and to share their ways with others.
Traditions are things that shape who we are, mark our childhoods, and impact our futures. They are significant, and sometimes sacred. There are some people who would not be particularly happy to unfold their traditions before an outsider's eyes. However, for the people who are open to that option, spreading successful holiday habits can be fun, even a sign of respect from peers who embrace those same traditions.
If you've shared a holiday with someone else's family, feel free to leave concise, constructive feedback in the comments area! Was it unique from your typical experience? Was it special and inspiring or did you simply miss your own family's ways? I'd love to hear from you!
If you haven't, I would encourage you to try it. Please don't invite yourself over to someone's house, announced or otherwise. However, if the opportunity/invitation comes along, seize it! It could be a good insight to something extraordinary! Or just a way to renew your appreciation of your own traditions. :)
*literally meaning "set apart"
