Monday, April 30, 2018

April

April has come and gone in a blur. I'm sitting here on Grace Fontenot's porch playing soft music as a light breeze brings down the heat of a glorious afternoon. Such a wonderful way to relax after two weeks in Colorado. About an hour ago, a mother cat tore into a paper bag that I left on the porch and she ate the half-muffin I had saved for later. She needed it more than I did.

JFA brought the team to Colorado State University to do three seminars and two days of outreach in the middle of April. Seeing the Rockies for the first time blew my mind. I took every opportunity over the next two weeks to mention my love of the mountains to anyone I could. I participated in the seminars and one outreach day. One of the unique conversations I had on CSU's campus is already in blog form and can be found here: The Third Person

After spending two days recuperating, the team met up again in Colorado for three more seminars/workshops and two days of outreach at CU's Auraria and Boulder campuses. That's right, Auraria. Strange name, but definitely different from Aurora ^_^ On Sunday the 22nd, we went hiking in the mountains and the Red Rocks. It was a gorgeous day to climb 380 stairs up to the Red Rocks Amphitheater.

Outreach at Auraria was spiritually daunting. From conversations with students who thought it would be fine to abort babies after birth, to spending an hour calming down two upset women, God reminded me over and over again how much prayer has to go into every conversation. A notable conversation that day was started by "Anna." She stopped by the exhibit (pictured below) and stated that she would never admit to her opinion on abortion. She was going to stay out of it. After engaging her on the subject and learning about her family history of political contention, I asked her what she personally thought about abortion when she wasn't trying to calm down her relatives. In her mind, abortion should only be legal in the case of rape in the first trimester. This position is incredibly common and means that she and I share about 98% of our views in commonality. She didn't have time to go farther into the topic, but she thanked me for being civil and finding common ground.

Grace Fontenot in conversation

Boulder turned white while we were there. The day before, Colorado experienced 70 degrees of sunny bliss. The next day, with temperatures in the high 30s, snow fell for about twelve hours, covering everything and us. A few people were gracious and interested enough to stand in the cold with us and dialogue. My favorite conversation that day was with a young man who thought that life did not begin at conception, it began with everything that came together to make our existence possible. We connected over a Doctor Who reference that brought the whole concept together. (For fellow fans of the show, that reference was: "I blew into this world on a leaf.") With this view, it was hard for us to establish in the conversation what makes a potential human person become a real human person with value and the basic right to life. Thanks to help from Steve, an umbrella, and a cup of hot soup, we got through the long, complicated conversation. We parted with a better understanding of each other's views.

Now, back at home in Wichita, I'm looking forward to a few days of rest. May does not have any events scheduled for me as of yet, so I will probably be doing many intern-type things, learning the seminar, training as a mentor, dancing, and spending time with Grace. Please pray for continued restful nights. I'm grateful to have not had a nightmare since early March. Pray also for the men and women we have encountered on campus this year and an end to abortion.

Thursday, April 26, 2018

March

March really was an adventure. From Stillwater, Oklahoma, to Mt. Nebo, Arkansas, to Lawrence, Kansas, March has been full of driving. There was more to it than that, but everything is so far away in the mid west!

Have a sunrise:
This was my view on March 4 with Grace and Maria. I think I can speak for them when I say we had a great time planting trees for monks at Clear Creek Abbey and a hilarious road trip out to Mt. Nebo and back. Such a blast.

JFA brought the team to University of Kansas (KU) from March 10-13. That was an adventure. I got to speak for the first time in two seminars that weekend. Having been certified in two speaking sections, I already feel more familiar with the concepts that we use to create personable, informed dialogue about abortion.

Outreach at KU was unique in that it was the first time I have done outreach using the Art of Life exhibit. The purpose of the exhibit is to start conversations by suggesting that the various themes represented in these paintings such as "Embracing child and career", "Suffering", and "Unknown future" are better than abortion. One side pictured here:

We brought with us a few polls, free speech boards, and even this snazzy art table that Grace and I created ourselves:
The Star Wars layout was my idea ^_^

In Lawrence, I had some really interesting conversations. I feel that God has been slowly challenging me with more difficult conversations. When I first began, I did not know how much I did not know about how to talk about abortion. Now that I am learning that, I am experiencing conversations in a different way. Listening, asking questions, and finding common ground are more important than ever and I realize that my mind has a tendency to go blank if I haven't role-played how conversations can go with the hard questions like rape, life of the mother, and bodily rights.

After KU, we set up a kiosk at WSU for an afternoon. My last conversation that day was with a young man named "Peter." When I asked him if he wanted to sign our "Should Abortion Remain Legal" poll on the "Yes" or "No" side, his curt response was, "I don't think it's a binary issue." And the conversation took off from there. Peter had three points that he brought up over the course of the next half hour. His assertions: 1) You can't really be pro-life if you eat meat. 2) You can't really be pro-life if you don't allow abortion in "life of the mother" cases. 3) You can't really be pro-life if you are a fiscal conservative. One by one, Peter and I addressed each of these concerns and fleshed out why being pro-life is more complicated than that, just as the abortion issue is more complicated than whether or not it is legal. It was hard to find common ground with Peter because it seemed as though common ground for him meant giving ground. Getting him to concede points wasn't my goal, so I tried to convince him that we weren't enemies. What we needed to do was define our terms and open our hearts to each other's backgrounds and worldviews. Peter identified himself as being a pro-choice libertarian vegan. That was the best way he knew to take care of people and the earth. At the end of our conversation, Peter was still a pro-choice libertarian vegan. That's alright. What amazes me though were his words right before we parted, "I guess we have common ground after all." Him saying that to me, a pro-life conservative omnivore, makes me happier than a pigeon with a french fry.

New experiences of March:
Planting trees for monks in Oklahoma
Arkansas!
Eating edamame aka soybeans
Trying sake

Note: Usually I would add a "Looking forward to" section, but I procrastinated so much in getting this post out that the April post will probably follow it too soon to warrant a whole section here. April coming soon!



Saturday, April 21, 2018

Real Conversation at CSU: The Third Person

At the end of the outreach day at Colorado State University, the area around the exhibit was quiet except for one voice. He sauntered over to the signs with an air of confidence that piqued my interest. He began to loudly abuse the exhibit pictures so I intercepted and asked him what he thought.



"It's crazy," he said. "Why is this here? What do you think?"

"I'm actually with the exhibit. We go around to college campuses talking to people about abortion. What do you think about that?"

"I think the government shouldn't have a say in our rights. And why is anyone pro-life in the first place? Have you even ever heard a pro-life argument that wasn't religious?"

I love this question. JFA taught us a reply that anyone from any religion can use and be consistently pro-life. I've only recently understood how to help people understand this argument, so I eagerly responded.

"Sure! You want to hear one?"

"Yes!"

I dove into the thought experiment with him. "Look around! See all these people around us on campus?" He looked all around and I continued, "Do you think we deserve equal rights?"

"Of course!"

"Good, I agree. If we deserve equal rights, isn't there something the same or equal about us that demands that we be treated equally?"

"Yes!"

"Cool. What do you think that is?"

"Our humanity. We're all humans."

"That's right! So, the conclusion is that, if the unborn are human, they must be given the same rights as the rest of us."

He backpedaled immediately to his previous statement, "The government shouldn't have a say in what we do with our bodies."

I gestured a time-out, "Follow me here. Forget the government. Say abortion will always be legal and there's nothing I can do about that. What if the unborn are humans but they are being systemically exterminated by the thousands every day? What if they are being discriminated against the same way black people and women were discriminated against? What if abortion kills a human being?"

"Then it's absolutely wrong," he said quietly. His attitude melted away and he wouldn't look at me. I waited.

After a moment, he said, "I know someone who had an abortion. She got knocked up by a douchebag on a one-night stand and she got an abortion. She had to. That baby would have screwed her over and ruined her life. She wouldn't have a degree or a career if she hadn't had that abortion. I hate that she had to do that but it was right for her."

My heart broke. This loud young man with an ego the size of a bus had just crumbled. He revealed to me in a moment the reason for his rough exterior and there was nothing I could do but sympathize with him.

"I'm so sorry about your friend. That sounds horrible."

He thanked me for talking with him and he walked away.

I was left with what felt like a gaping hole in my heart. I had forgotten the third person. I got excited by the opportunity to share such a cool, fool-proof argument for my cause and I forgot about what I was telling him. I told him what he probably already knew: that his friend had been party to taking the life of a human being. That is not information to be taken or given lightly.

JFA taught me to keep three people in mind in every conversation:
1. The unborn. As a pro-life advocate, it's my job to be a voice for the voiceless. Usually, that means being a voice for the unborn, but they are not the only ones I need to consider.

2. The person standing in front of me. In every conversation, they are the most important person. They are just as real, just as valuable, just as beautiful as the unborn. I need to remember to respect every person I speak to and place them first.

3. The woman. The third person I must include in every conversation is the person who has a connection to abortion. Sometimes it is the person standing in front of me, but other times it is someone they know, someone who is standing nearby listening to me, someone they will talk to in the future, someone who will read my account of the conversation. Even if it seems like the person I'm talking to has no connection with abortion, statistics say they do or will. I have to keep in mind my respect, care, and love for the man or woman personally affected by abortion in every conversation.

This is just one example of how complicated these conversations can be. I've wanted to describe the third person tactic before, but such a clear example of the need for it hadn't arisen. He was my last conversation that day. In a few days, JFA will be at the University of Colorado and this time I will be more careful to look out for what I cannot see and listen to hear unspoken words and feelings.